Since the beginning of our relationship Trent and I have discussed the kind of parents that we want to be. Before we were parents, we would often discuss the parenting styles of our family and friends and compared notes on what we thought would fit us best. Now that Gracelyn is on the scene, I realize that so much depends on our baby.
I used to hold some things in my mind as ideal...baby and I will hold a pretty firm schedule, we will go out often on grand adventures, baby will feel good about sleeping in her crib during nap and at night, baby will breastfeed at least through the first nine months, baby will only cry when she is hungry or sleepy and I will meet all her needs so quickly that I will, in fact, be able to anticipate her need before she even begins to cry!
Ha, Welcome to reality, Mindy!
Trent and I have been wrestling with some of these things, especially recently. Not wrestling each other, but just trying to decide what is best for Gracelyn and our family. Late last week, I decided that it would be best for Gracelyn to start going to sleep on her own. I think I read it in a book somewhere. Gracelyn was not a fan. From the beginning she has either fallen asleep easily in the arms of her mommy, daddy or grandparent or while nursing. Now here I was, patting her belly, saying "time to go to sleep darling" and leaving her alone. Within minutes she was crying, was too worked up to find the slumber zone and I was stressed. And then started wondering...why am I pushing my three month old to fall asleep on her own when all of us love the way we were before? So I turned to Dr. Sears website. I read some of his material when Gracelyn was little and I was concerned about her waking up so often in the middle of the night. He provided some awesome information about REM sleep and that babies are designed to enter light periods of sleep often as a survival tool so they can tell mommy and daddy when they are hungry or cold, etc. It was just what I needed at the time to give me reassurance. Overall, he preaches that babies are designed to communicate their needs and as Gracelyn's mommy, I get to learn to listen and stay in tune with her which I have learned is a full time job! He also says that if you resent it, change it...otherwise, if everyone is satisfied with a particular method, stick with it.
After more discussion and prayer, Trent and I decided "why rush it?" Gracelyn will only be a baby once and I don't anticipate that I will ever look back on these days and wish I had held her less!
So I declare that for today...
- I'm a stay at home mommy with a flexible schedule (although I do try to get a shower by noon)
- who loves holding her sleeping baby (even while eating lunch, doing the dishes & blogging)
- who nurses when Gracelyn wants (I am terrible about pumping so the woobie is all she's got)
- who doesn't know what the heck Gracelyn wants sometimes
- who needs a break now and then (Thank Jesus for Trent!)
- who has a hard time telling people no when they ask to hold her although I secretly want her close
- who feels like my most regular communication with the outside world is through facebook (although I really enjoy the live version of people)
- who hopes to breastfeed until Gracie is at least a year old
- who really enjoys spending time at home in this peaceful, beautiful house
- who loves Jesus and really wants to be better at spending time with Him
- who loves my husband for being the man and father of my dreams
- and who has alot to learn!
One thing that Trent and I have decided to hold firm on is that our bed is his and mine, not a family bed. A couple weeks ago we had a situation that led us to both feel more comfortable with Gracelyn near us at night. Since then I have gotten lazy and enjoyed having the opportunity to sleep next to her and feed her without the trouble of getting out of bed. For us though, we realize that long term, it's not good for our relationship. Having babies in bed makes it hard to make more babies ;) So we are onto the commitment of me getting up to feed her in the nursery (which is just once a night these days) and Trent helping to get her back to sleep when she fidgets herself awake. It's a good system for us and I think it will pay off for our relationship in huge ways now and later.
Well, that's enough about parenting, here's a little update on Gracelyn's habits as a three month old.
- Her new favorite toy is her hands. She has so much more control of her movement and is actually holding toys and reaching out to touch her books.
- She actually laughed at me on Saturday. We were playing on her changing table while I was getting her dressed and I was pretending to wrestle a toy out of her hand while tickling her belly. She just laughed and giggled like crazy. It was one of my favorite moments yet.
- She stayed in the nursery at church for the first time this past Sunday. She spent half the time in class, fell asleep in the arms of a worker (Linda H.) as church was starting, woke up happy mid-service and enjoyed dancing and singing with another worker (Ryan VP). Although I hadn't really planned to have her in the nursery this soon, I was grateful that she did so well and enjoyed being able to listen and participate in worship without interruption. I don't know that we will do it every week but it is nice to know she is comfortable with other people for a short while.
- She is losing her beautiful hair in patches. She loves to sleep on her side most of the time so the sides of her head have little bald spots. Her hair on top is long enough to cover some of it.The crazy part is that her hair is very long in the back and she doesn't seem to be losing any of it there. So she could end up with a serious mullet or something worse that only babies can pull off and still look precious. It will be interesting to see what color her hair will be as it grows back in. Will she stay black?
- Her eye color is starting to change a little. Found a few brown specks among the grey blue color that is dominant now.
- She goes for her shots and well baby check on Wednesday. I am going to take a guess at her measurements...13 lbs 3 oz and 24 1/2 inches long. I'll let you know the real results.
